Do I live a sinless life?

When we preach holiness the question will always ultimately be thrown at us: “Do you believe that you live a holy and sinless life?”

Holy people – other than by way of a God glorifying testimony – would be reluctant to ‘boast’ in such a way.

In his article ‘A plain account of Christian Perfection’ John Wesley describes the following question and answer discourse (forgive me for bringing the language up to date).

"Q. Can you show us just one example of Christian perfection? Where is the holy Christian?

A. To some who ask such a question one might reply, If I did know of such a Christian I wouldn’t tell you because you don’t ask out of love but like King Herod; you only seek the young child to kill it. However, let me say that there are many reasons why there should be so few, if any, clear examples. Such a person would become a sitting target for anyone wanting to criticise holiness – remember ‘If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.’”

Am I holy? Do I live a sinless life? There have been times when I would have confidently said yes – there have been long periods in my Christian experience where the possibility of sin has seemed remote indeed. At the moment – I resist sin by God’s grace – I fight the devil and win – but the desire to sin is sometimes intense. I believe that when holiness comes our way – when we experience constant and full salvation that desire is eradicated and the temptations we receive rather than being temptations of the flesh are temptations to doubt or to fear – for the infrastructure of holiness would become the natural target of the enemy.

Indeed the very paragraph above may even be indicative of such an attack upon myself!

All great saints (and lowly ones) face such doubts, the way of holiness goes through the valley of the shadow of death and leads on daily basis ton Gethsemane and Calvary – as my quote from La Marechale said…

“Calvary is Calvary today. Christ wasn't crucified in the drawing-room. His was no easy­ chair business.”

"In the cross of Christ I glory,
Towering o’er the wrecks of time;

All the light of sacred story

Gathers round its head sublime.

When the woes of life o’ertake me,

Hopes deceive, and fears annoy,

Never shall the cross forsake me,

Lo! it glows with peace and joy.

Love and prayers

Holiness, faith, sacrifice and La Marechale

How I have struggled with holiness!

I have testified to the blessing of a clean heart but nagging conviction encourages me to disbelieve.

I preach holiness, I teach holiness – I even have a webpage dedicated to its restoration. Without giving way to arrogance - I know none who has a better theoretical (or historical) knowledge of proper Wesleyan holiness.

Like the fallen priest plucked from the flames in Zechariah I stand before God constantly under accusation - never sure if my robes are still dirty or if they have been replaced with clean ones by a ministering angel, never sure if the turban on my head sparkles with the engraved confirmation ‘holiness unto the Lord’ or not.

Last week, following a meal with a close friend (someone who’s discernment and judgement I value) the challenge was put to me that the problem was one of belief – quite simply while I believe in the possibility of constant righteousness for others I see myself (with a kind of inverted pride) as being beyond (full) redemption.

Then this week I came across the following quote from Le Marechale. The quote is lifted from a War Cry article she wrote while in Prison in Switzerland.

'Jesus was crucified: Ever since that day, men have tried to find an easier way, but the easier ways fail. If you would win thousands who are without God, you must be ready to be crucified: your plans, your ideas, your likes and your inclinations. Things have changed, you say, there is liberty now. Is there? Go and live Christ's life, speak as He spoke, teach what He taught, denounce sin wherever you find it, and see if the enemy will not turn on you with all the fury of hell. Make no mistake, in spite of all the science and enlighten­ment of the nineteenth century, Calvary is Calvary today. Christ wasn't crucified in the drawing-room. His was no easy­ chair business. The world needs an army of men and women who can face Calvary, and that means coming down low. Do you shrink from being bated, misrepresented and spoken evil of? It is time you were crucified. Come down, my brother. Come down, my sister. There is such wonderful blessing and peace down here. Make haste and come down. Lose your life. You will never be happy, never be free, never be more than con­querors, until you do.'

It is both a crisis of faith and a crisis of sacrifice!

Yet in spite of my doubts I believe that God is drawing closer all the time – the blessing is within reach – God’s grace and patience is incomprehensible.

“In the past too unbelieving

'Midst the tempest I have been,

And my heart has slowly trusted

What my eyes have never seen.

Blessed Jesus,

Teach me on thy arm to lean.”

Love and prayers

A