Confession...

Yesterday I lost my temper with my 10 year-old daughter. I don't mean that I got angry I mean that I lost my temper.

It was all to do with 'missing' homework (and needless to say it wasn't the first time we had this conversation). It all started reasonably enough but within minutes slipped into an undignified shouting match. Basically, she had lost her homework but blamed her Mother for the loss - "I left it on the desk a week ago and Mum has moved it! She has lost my homework!"

I was ashamed at the way I behaved - I didn't hit her, I didn't swear, I wasn't rude and I didn't let the sun go down on my wrath - but I was so angry (too angry!).

It was a painful reminder that holiness is still not complete in my life - I need more prayer, more surrender and more faith.

Even now 24 hours later I still feel mortified about how angry I became.

I am one of the calmest most patient men you could ever meet - nothing ruffles me, I simply take it all in my stride - but when I blow I make up for all those years of calmness. Just because a sinful tendency sleeps in the depths of our heart like a sting ray that doesn't make us righteous.

Holy Christians should never lose control and I did - I wasn't completely out of control (I knew when to stop) but my anger climbed to a pitch which is quite unacceptable.

God has forgiven me, my daughter has forgiven me (and apologised for being the spark that lit the touch paper) and eventually... I will forgive myself.

In the meantime - "Give me a holy life spotless and true!"

Love and prayers

Andrew