Mixed emotions…

The month before Officers take up a new appointment is a very difficult time. It is easy to become the victim of a whole host of mixed emotions. There is of course a natural eagerness to move on to pastures new and to get on with the job that is waiting there. There is also a natural reluctance to leave behind one's current mission. When a farewelling officer looks at the appointment he or she is leaving there are a number of thoughts that go through one's head. There are of course those successes for which you praise God; those people who have grown spiritually during your time on the bridge, those people who have got saved, those people who have received the baptism of the Holy Spirit and entered into the blessing of holiness. Then there are those who haven't developed as well as they could have done, there are those who haven't grown at all and maybe even some who decided to go elsewhere during your stay - as one prayerfully considers such people there is sometimes a sense of unfinished business.

As I prepare, together with Tracey, to leave Dartford and head for Rayleigh I must confess that I am to a degree, plagued by mixed emotions. Could I have done better? Could I have done more? Could I have spent more time in prayer and more time actively engaged in mission? Whoever we are, and whatever our commitment, the answer to questions like these will always be yes. There is always more that could have been done and it is far too easy to allow our attention to be drawn to the failures rather than to the successes. I for one am not prepared to allow such feelings to get the better of me. Whatever appointment one receives as a Salvation Army Officer one always knows that it will come to an end, there will be a moment when the boxes go on the wagon and you shut the door of the quarters for the last time.

Dartford has in many ways been like a first appointment to me, as is the case with first appointments it has been something of a learning curve. It has been good to see people get saved and to see people growing in grace but I would not be telling the truth if I did not admit to some disappointments. I am disappointed that we were unable to achieve more, I'm disappointed that we didn't see revival and I'm also disappointed that there have been occasions during the last three years when I have (albeit momentarily) taken my shoulder from the plough, times when I have been distracted by "the sights that dazzle and the tempting sounds I hear". I am delighted that we are being followed by quality people, people who have proved themselves in circumstances and situations far more challenging than those which Dartford will present them with. This will be their first appointment and no doubt it will be something of a learning curve for them as well.

At the end of the day the ministry of a Corps belongs not to the Officers who come and go but to the Soldiers who remain. The mission of Dartford Corps belongs to those few enthusiastic stalwarts who come week after week, faithfully turning out on duty even when their age, health or other demands upon their time might be encouraging them to slow down.

The next few weeks will be very busy as we attempt to tie up loose ends, finish packing, clean the quarters, weed the garden and generally prepare the way for a smooth transition and an uncomplicated start to Graham and Zoe's ministry. As the days go by there will be little time for the introspection I have described above. It is therefore a wonderful thought that at the end of the day the future of Dartford Corps (or for that matter any other Corps that the Army may entrust to our care) though influenced by God in us and hopefully inspired by God in us must ultimately stand on its own two feet. The future depends not on who, or who may not be appointed here but on the determination of the soldiers to get rid of their idols, repent of their sins and stay connected with the life giver.

God's plans for Dartford and for Rayleigh - indeed for the whole Salvation Army - are plans "to succeed and prosper, not to fail" if we ensure that at all times we are doing our utmost to "love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, body and mind" then we can with confidence leave everything else to him.

Grace and peace, A