This news followed a number of ‘words’ and ‘messages’ from various sources indicating that God wanted to do something significant with what was left of my useful life! Especially in relation to The Salvation Army.
I completely underestimated the intensity of demonic backlash that was about to come my way as a result of this news. Indeed with a naïve arrogance I hadn’t anticipated any kind of demonic response whatsoever.
I have just read David Wilkerson’s ‘Hungry for more of Jesus’ (available for about £3 from Amazon). I read it hot on the heels of Finney’s ‘Systematic Theology’ and the two men say very much the same thing (though Wilkerson is a lot easier to digest!)
Wilkerson, however, adds a section on ‘sifting’ where he talks about those occasions when the devil asks God if he can ‘sift us like wheat’ as he did with Peter.
When I received the news of my reacceptance I published a holiness manifesto (see bloodandfire.org.uk) which pledged me to a simple lifestyle. At the same time I wrote an article for JAC that sought to promote the manifesto to others. On reflection I do not think this manifesto was legalism or an attempt at salvation by works. I believed then and I still believe that it was an honest response to a clear direction from God.
On the Armybarmy.com blog I recently read that “blogs have become the place to expose intimate and sensitive thoughts…” well here goes…
I need to confess – and I can’t think of a better medium by which to do it – about the compromise and deliberate disobedience that has been in my life as a result of being ‘sifted’ and at the same time being too arrogant and proud to recognise what was going on. Since that declaration my life has moved from fudge to further fudge and my lifestyle has been anything but simple. The odd thing is that I cannot recall a period in my life when I have been the recipient of so much revelation and knowledge yet my willingness to obey has been derisory!
In short the devil has walloped me and I have sat there and taken it. I have allowed myself to become his punch bag. The gulf between what I know God wants, what I preach and what I do has grown as a result.
Jesus knew that Peter would betray him when he gave him the keys of the kingdom. Jesus also knew that Peter would come back stronger and fitter as a result of having the stuffing (pride) knocked out of him. John Wesley described Fletcher of Madeley as the holiest man he ever knew yet Fletcher claimed that he lost the blessing of holiness three times. David was considered Israel’s greatest king - to such an extent that ‘son of David’ is a Messianic title - yet David fell away.
I believe more than ever that God wants me to ‘talk the talk’ but I also know that more than that he needs me to ‘walk the walk’, I have also discovered (at my cost) that it seems like the entire armies of hell are assembled in an attempt to prevent both from happening.
Wilkerson has shown me that I have been in danger of serious back sliding but he has also grabbed my hand and pulled me back from the brink.
Carol Young quoted the following on her blog today ‘"Jesus can't save someone he can't command." One thing is absolutely certain Jesus cannot entirely sanctify someone who refuses to obey.
Now enough of this self centred deprecatory rambling and on with the fight.
Take this as a confession, an apology and a re-consecration of my all, in deep humility, to the cause of Christ and the lost. Also take it as a call to arms and a warning – the devil is on the prowl and after anyone who poses a serious threat and adopts a careless attitude to warfare.
The holiness debate will never be won with words it can only be won by example.
Just as the ‘Greeks have a word for it’ so Wesley always has a song!
Leave no unguarded place,
No weakness of the soul;
Take every virtue, every grace,
And fortify the whole.
To keep your armour bright
Attend with constant care,
Still walking in your captain's sight
And watching unto prayer.
That, having all things done,
And all your conflicts past,
Ye may o'ercome through Christ alone,
And stand complete at last.
Love and prayers
Andrew
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