Could do better!

Three quarters of a year at Dartford and things have gone well. However, there is a deep and disturbing dissatisfaction in my heart.

If I’d been appointed here in 1887 instead of 2007 then my nine months here would have been considered a failure – Railton would have sacked me for sure! Where are the new converts, recruits and soldiers? Whe re is the revival?

People have been saved, the Corps has grown, finances have been stabilised, property has been improved, the programme tweaked and good relationships with the lost established – But is my commitment and passion really worthy of Christ’s suffering and death?

It is too easy to judge our achievements by those around us, to measure our performance against the achievements of the contemporary church, but when we set the benchmark as Acts 2 or Whitechapel 1880 our efforts receive their proper score!

I’m quite sure that Dartford has not been disappointed with their new Officers and I’m also confident that the other church leaders in the town are pleased with the new Army incumbents, maybe even those on the edge of society might be prepared (in an odd sober moment) to express gratitude for our arrival. But beyond the expectations of others how do I personally assess my performance since last July?

I’d probably give myself 2 out of 10. Why such a miserly score? The reason is that God looks on the heart and not on the outer man. I’ve certainly worked hard and put in some long hours but my heart still backs away from the ultimate location that God is trying to take it.

Last week at our Divisional Children’s camp the kids were asked to put the following things in order of importance: TV, family, God, Church, bible, prayer, football, leisure time, friends and money. Now if I was going to look at the last nine months and do that exercise honestly then the outcome is shown below. I’ve worked this out on the basis of the time committed to them and the passion that they generate within me (I’m discounting the time I spend working as an Officer because that’s my job):

Football, Family, TV, Prayer, Bible, Friends, Leisure Time, Money, God.

Now some might say that I’m being a bit harsh on myself, but how can I really put God anywhere other than last if I consistently disobey him? God is leading me (or trying to lead me) further along the path of holiness but I am struggling to follow him. If I were happy with a compromised contemporary understanding of holiness and if I were happy to compare my achievements with those around me then perhaps I’d be comfortable putting God first.

I read the following this morning in my personal devotions:

“The LORD your God commands you this day to follow these decrees and laws; carefully observe them with all your heart and with all your soul. You have declared this day that the LORD is your God and that you will walk in his ways, that you will keep his decrees, commands and laws, and that you will obey him. And the LORD has declared this day that you are his people, his treasured possession as he promised, and that you are to keep all his commands. He has declared that he will set you in praise, fame and honour high above all the nations he has made and that you will be a people holy to the LORD your God, as he promised.” (Deuteronomy 26:16-19)

It’s all about covenant – if I keep my part of my covenant then God can do “abundantly more than all I could ever ask for or even imagine” if I don’t then things stay as they are.

I wish I’d been born 150 years ago because then I’d be getting this kind of message three times a week and my spiritual ambitions would be considered normal.

Is this not the personal holiness we need to reclaim if we are to be truly effective again?

Love and prayers

A