All change...

I've been keeping a journal since April this year. The journal is an honest, no-holds barred record of my personal spiritual pilgrimage. It is (as one would expect) a record of ups and downs, highs and lows and victories and defeats. This morning I read through the journal from the beginning and although I can see steady progress the narrative actually betrays far too much inconsistency in my relationship with God.

I've been blogging since February 2006 and my posts also reflect something of a vacillating approach to Christianity. Both my journal and my blog expose a man who at times has been "tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine".

If I were asked to list just three Christian essentials in 2009 I would without hesitation say (in no particular order) lifestyle, accountability and holiness.

By holiness I mean a life that is born out of and sustained by an uncompromising and all consuming love for God. By lifestyle I mean the evidence of that love clearly visible in the way I live and the choices I make. By accountability I mean a fulfilment of John's command 'to walk in the light as he is in the light' – to literally turn the torch of judgment upon ourselves and to do so in the most public arena possible.

I want to bring my blog and my journal together in a way that will increase my accountability and thereby fuel my love for God and constrain my lifestyle. So starting today I am going to start posting my journal entries in my blog – in effect I am going to turn my blog into an online journal. Obviously this is a risky undertaking but one that I feel compelled to do.

God knows all about me so there is no real point in hiding anything back.

My Journal has always included the scripture passages I have read that day, any insights or revelations received, confession and prayer.

So here we go: Wednesday, 22 July 2009

Bible Readings for today:

Hosea 6:1-7:16, Psalm 88:10-18 and Romans 7:7-25

¹ "Come, let us return to the LORD.
He has torn us to pieces
but he will heal us;
he has injured us
but he will bind up our wounds.

² After two days he will revive us;
on the third day he will restore us,
that we may live in his presence.

³ Let us acknowledge the LORD;
let us press on to acknowledge him.
As surely as the sun rises,
he will appear;
he will come to us like the winter rains,
like the spring rains that water the earth."

It is definitely time to return to the Lord! God has certainly used me in the past and still does today but when I compare what might have been with what has been then the analogy of being 'torn apart' is not far from the truth. The same goes for The Salvation Army – even without our full cooperation he will take and use what he can – God is at war and that means he will always make the best use of whatever is to hand. However, there is no real glory in my warfare or that of the western Salvation Army... but if we 'press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth.'

We've just endured a 36 hour power cut! No TV, no internet, no PC's, no hot water, no showers etc. It set my mind thinking of that old SA phrase 'maintaining contact with the life giver' – we lost our power because kids vandalised the power supply causing a fire which substantially damaged the power infrastructure for Dartford. How many times have I(through a careless sin or thoughtless act) vandalised the lines which connect me to God?

I must maintain the supply!

That means being obedient to God at all times, spending quality time with him and his word. Without a direct supply of divine power my ministry will be non-existent and my holiness seriously flawed.

Father forgive me for wilful spiritual vandalism, usually carried out when I am bored or distracted – help me to 'maintain contact with the life giver' at all times.

Amen

Grace and peace,