In May 2006 God called me to a very clear and specific lifestyle. I believe it was the 'fasted lifestyle' that Court and Munn refer to in their excellent book 'The Uprising'. It was the lifestyle alluded to in Booth's vision. It was the same lifestyle reflected in the life of St Francis and George Scott Railton. It is a lifestyle that it is completely and utterly absorbed by God and totally lost in his love.
May God forgive me for the length of time I have spent prevaricating over this clear and concise call.
Talk about vacillating – my life - since receiving this call, has been a rollercoaster of commitment, obedience and victory followed by the plummeting and hellish compromise that is always the ultimate consequence of disobedience. I have lost count of the number of times I have blogged about being 'in a corner'!
Tonight, in my study, I engaged in the most titanic struggle with the evil one. How he longs to cling to my life and retain lordship… all he needs is a 'foothold'. Like the rich young ruler I could excel in righteousness to the point of lacking just one thing – but my failure to surrender that one thing would be all Satan needs to retain ownership. I cannot say that the battle is won for I feel that these deep-seated and battle hardened monsters will not leave simply because of a few words. They need to see 'fruit that proves my repentance'and by God's grace they will!
We stumble not over the 'sinful things' but over the 'doubtful things'. I am fed up of stumbling! I am not on this planet for me; my object in life is not to fulfil my own ambitions but to be a tool in God's hands for him to do with as he pleases!
My life, thoughts, hopes, influence, words, money, time, resources, passion – these things are mine to do with as I see fit. I have just two choices (for those spiritual powers who battle for my soul will not allow me to retain rights of ownership) – I either commit myself fully and unreservedly to God or I slip into the hand of the enemy. In war one cannot hope to survive for very long in no man's land!
How can I possibly refrain from making the commitment that God so obviously requires?
I here and now renew the promises I made in my Soldier's covenant and in my Officer's covenant and I add to those solemn undertakings a commitment my own God-given holiness manifesto.
I do this because I must, because I have no option, because I am compelled by God's love and all of heaven's might.
It is quite literally 'holiness or hell' not just for me but for the thousands of people that God longs to reach through me.
I sincerely ask those who know me, either via the internet, or personally to keep me accountable to these promises and challenge me whenever it seems evident that I am slipping into the comfortable arms of second-rate consecration.
Love and prayers
A
2 comments:
I too have signed such Covenants with God and at times renewed them and I also need others to keep me accountable. Above all I need God to keep me accountable and He is more reliable than any other. May He continue to work in your life and mine and use us for His kingdom and His glory. Blessings
I've found that when the enemy pulls out all the stops in his attempts to derail us, it's just more proof that we're on the right track. Stay strong my brother. I'll try to be a part-time-accountability voice from across the pond. Blessings to you and Tracey,
Genise (USA)
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